Tuesday, June 23, 2009


I'm a blogging slacker. Since starting my new summer job on June 2 I haven't had ANY time for any extra anything.

For those ICLWers tuning in.

My name is Ellen.

I have MTHFR, a genetic mutation that fucks my blood up. I also have PCOS, a stupid "syndrome" that fucks up my ovaries. And newly this week, I have been diagnosed with POF, Premature Ovarian Failure. It seems my reproductive health can all be described with abbreviations. I am learning to live with these "failures" (seriously, they couldn't come up with a better word?)

I am married to a wonderful man, William. He is truly my strength through all this. Recently, William and I have decided to live child-free instead of working towards adoption or surrogacy. Some might think this is selfish, but those people can blow me. I commend people for adopting. It takes a very special family to adopt. I don't necessarily think I have to explain and I probably won't be able to do so very well. I don't have the will to go through more heartbreak if I can help it. The miscarriages and infertility took me to a place that I don't want to be ever again. It hurt our marriage and my friendships, among other things. We are finally able to be "newlyweds" for the first time and it is great. We are getting our passports in the coming weeks and planning on traveling as often as we can.

Time to brag about my puppy. Her name is Lily. She's 5 months and growing so quickly, she's almost 3 1/2 pounds! She's a long haired chihuahua and the light of my life :) If you want to see some pictures check out my other posts or facebook me (ellen moore.)

Well I think I rambled my little heart out. If you have any questions feel free to ask! Oh yeah, and if you are easily offended or don't like the word fuck, my blog might not be the one for you! Thanks for stopping by!


Beautiful Mess said...

Happy ICLW! UHG POF?! That sucks, I'm sorry sweetie. Anyone that wants to fuck with you and your decisions, just tell to come see me. I'll take care of em for ya ;o) Nobody messes with MY friends!

Texas Lisa said...

I am glad you have decided on what is best for you...

GeekByMarriage said...

Selfish? Like it was an easy decision to come to? Yeah, they can blow you alright. Dani and I are going to form a posse to go after those who bitch about other peoples choices! Just give me a name.

I want only the best for you, my love. No matter what path it is I hope you live in peace and happiness.


Mrs. Gamgee said...

Your job sounds incredible! And you don't have to apologize for your choices... deciding to not adopt is just as big a decision as adopting.

Serendipity said...

I can't believe people think you're selfish, sounds like they need a sharp object to the eye if you ask me. People who judge other peoples decisions need to take a powder and go lie down before they get hurt.

Your job sounds amazing, how great of the surgens to take the time to talk about the pharmacological aspects.

Lisa RM said...

Not at all selfish. Takes courage and is very admirable. One of my best friends chose childlessness over his marriage. Kids, and anything related to them, are never easy decisions.

Egg Factory said...

I love your honesty and totally respect your decision to be child free. My hubby and I are going through one last Hail Mary try - using a gestational carrier, but if that doesn't work, we have decided that we would be totally OK with being child free. We have decided that we won't let being parents, or not, define us, as I imagine you are, too.

Love your writing - I'll be following you from now on.