Where I've Been

Looks like the last post was before the holidays last year. Lots has happened since then.

I'm still going to school for my chemistry undergrad. I have one semester left of prereqs for Pharmacy school. Which means I should be pcatting soon, but that is another post. I'm currently taking Organic Chemistry 1, which I am apparently amazing at. Only about 29% of people pass this class ever and I'm holding a 106% overall average. 100% on the first test. 112% on the 2nd. I'm also taking the organic lab but who really cares about lab! I'm taking trig and calc classes too but I try not to go too often so it doesn't screw up my A average in there. It's a pretty easy and fun semester.

I have finally met THAT instructor. I'm his favorite, right out of the gate. Being a favorite is more of a challenge than anything else. And it is that challenge that makes him my favorite. I've never been one for mediocrity, but I'm usually the type to just do the bare minimum to get by. He challenges me, and calls bullshit when I am unsure. He is changing my life, just in one 4 hour class. And because of this, I'm starting to believe that I'm smarter than I ever knew! He makes me answer questions in class, and go to the board to argue my case on an answer I know is right! Wow.... going to get in a ramble whirlwind. More on Dr. N later.

Not leaving chemistry completely. I am now working for the school as a tutor and lab assistant in the chemistry department. I tutor two classes. A chem 2 class with the same instructor I had last year and really loved. And another chem 2 class with a new face, but already so amazing. Dr. PN is married to my favorite Dr. N! More on the both of them later.

W and I stopped all treatment. Even so that I forgot to make my annual appointment! I stopped taking all of my pills, even the ones I still need. But I was done. Months and months of taking 30+ pills a day with NO outcome. Done.

I'm starting to get back on some of them, like my baspirin, metformin, and folic acid. These are pills that I was told to take regardless. Oh and fishoil but yuck. So I'm trying to be better and at least take the drugs for MTHFR.

Next post: LILY

ICLW

I'm a blogging slacker. Since starting my new summer job on June 2 I haven't had ANY time for any extra anything.

For those ICLWers tuning in.

My name is Ellen.

I have MTHFR, a genetic mutation that fucks my blood up. I also have PCOS, a stupid "syndrome" that fucks up my ovaries. And newly this week, I have been diagnosed with POF, Premature Ovarian Failure. It seems my reproductive health can all be described with abbreviations. I am learning to live with these "failures" (seriously, they couldn't come up with a better word?)

I am married to a wonderful man, William. He is truly my strength through all this. Recently, William and I have decided to live child-free instead of working towards adoption or surrogacy. Some might think this is selfish, but those people can blow me. I commend people for adopting. It takes a very special family to adopt. I don't necessarily think I have to explain and I probably won't be able to do so very well. I don't have the will to go through more heartbreak if I can help it. The miscarriages and infertility took me to a place that I don't want to be ever again. It hurt our marriage and my friendships, among other things. We are finally able to be "newlyweds" for the first time and it is great. We are getting our passports in the coming weeks and planning on traveling as often as we can.

Time to brag about my puppy. Her name is Lily. She's 5 months and growing so quickly, she's almost 3 1/2 pounds! She's a long haired chihuahua and the light of my life :) If you want to see some pictures check out my other posts or facebook me (ellen moore.)

Well I think I rambled my little heart out. If you have any questions feel free to ask! Oh yeah, and if you are easily offended or don't like the word fuck, my blog might not be the one for you! Thanks for stopping by!

Missing My Grandma

My late grandma's birthday is today, April 6th. She passed away in 2005. She was by far the closest family member to me, outside of Mom or John. She took care of us when mom was at work, from infancy until John could drive. My mom worked 5am-1pm so Grandma would come over extra early and get us ready. She even tied our shoes long after we could tie them ourselves. I remember once when I was sick she even rocked me to sleep and I was way past the age of needing to be rocked. She made this awesome meal when we were sick that she called "Egg in a dish" it was a hard boiledish egg where the white was hard boiled and the yellow was goopy (yeah... I don't cook and there is probably a name for this.) She would cut the white up and drip the yellow over little peices of bread. Put it in a cup then voila... egg in a dish. I've never tried to replicate this seeing as I can barely make cereal right.

I've just been thinking about her a lot lately. She too went through some miscarriages. She had a stroke later in 2001 that could have been caused by MTHFR (she was an old lady though but I can see the possible connection.) She was always very giving with her money, food, time, anything. She was just a giving lady. I think if she were still alive she would totally front us the money for surrogacy without batting an eye. She always handled the finances and now that she is gone my 82 year old grandpa handles it all. I don't blame him for not handing me 40,000 of course, it's a different world for an elderly man who is now all alone.

More grandma memories to come... I'm having a sneezing attack... damn being allergic to Oklahoma.