Saturday, April 25, 2009

The eff word.

A lot of people I know with blood disorders (clotting factors) have one miracle child and had an uncomplicated first pregnancy. Why not me? I figured something was up so I started ttc young but maybe not young enough. Too bad I wasn't a whore in highschool and I'd probably at least have one. I just don't get why it has to happen to me?! Who would have thought? I mean, really, why the fuck did it happen to me? Not just the MTHFR... it's been OVER a year since I've been pregnant. It really shouldn't be this hard. Fuck you PCOS. My NICU is having a family picinic today. Too bad I don't have a family to go with. Fuck Fuck Fuck.

2 comments:

Lisa said...

I COMPLETLY understand what you are feeling. When I had my strokes, I wondered why some people have clotting disorders that are easily "fixed" and go on to have oodles of babies. i hate PCOS. I hate the hair on my face, neck and chin. Not only do I feel like less of a woman because I can't get pg, but I also have to feel like a man with hair all over that takes hours per day to pluck. Well pluck that. :)

Jennifer said...

I agree with Lisa about the hair all over your face, if it wasnt for my dermatologist and the laser hair removal; I would quit my job and join the sideshow. I've asked myself, "why can't it be me" at least once a week since I lost the baby.