One week left of school. Could it just be over?! I get to spend the next week busting my ass and completely stressing about finals. Even beyond these thoughts of tests, quizzes and projects my mind is still fixating on the thought of living child-free not by choice. I always say the "not by choice" part because I don't want anyone, friend or foe, to stumble across the blog and judge me. No, I do not wish to live my life empty handed and I do not wish to blow my money on cars instead of college tuition for kiddos. I would love to be broke and making chicken pot pies and changing diapers but I'm afraid it's just not my reality.
I even have a full bottle of Femara, but I just don't want to take it. Even if it works (which I'm sure it won't) it doesn't mean the pregnancy is going to work. I'm at a place in my life where I'm, at least, a little at peace with the idea. I know having another miscarriage would throw that idea out the window. I would crawl back under my comforter and live a few months under there.
I know it will be different for everyone, but when did you just know that living child-free not by choice was the decision for you?